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Saturday, October 01, 2005 ( 9:08:00 PM ) Miss Scarlet Just as I get okay with living far away from everyone and everything I have a day where it bothers me a lot and I wish for anything to have a place in NOVA. Today I left my cell phone at home and the thought of getting all the way home and then hearing a message inquiring about my plans was incredibly frustrating. Luckily (??) I had no messages so I didn't get the horrible feeling of missing something. I shouldn't have been surprised to have no messages as one friend is out of the state, one is sick, my family knew I didn't have my phone and another friend has been busy all day. So right now I'm just uploading CDs onto iTunes because I AM going to reach the limit sooner than later and I'm excited. 10,000 songs-that's insane. But as I'm doing that I am also checking email (none since I checked when i got home at 7) and talking to Vanessa on AIM. This puts me in a position of checking people's away messages and blogs though and as a result, when certain people make changes I tend to get annoyed. I was trying to think on my way home about friendships ending...most friendships just fade over time because circumstances change. Julianne and I were inseperable but it's hard to keep up when she is in Baltimore and I was in Richmond and now Bealeton. Plus she has her boyfriend now who I am sure wins her free time more often than not. (which is fine). I'm trying to think of those people with whom I was close and now we don't talk much. I still talk to Andrew because I have to keep him around in case we're both single and 40 because he is my backup. I don't really talk to Pat anymore but I never really had a friendship on the level of sharing things and trusting, etc. I had some good times hanging out though and I do miss those. I miss talking to Alyssa because she's always good for a long conversation but I 1) she lives in New Jersey now and 2) we both changed a lot I think and didn't mesh as well (priority/beliefs/etc wise). I don't get to see Johanna as much now and especially since she is living in Florida now but I know she'll always be there and she's always been so good about listening to my boring stories about my lame life:) Vanessa and I have to be friends because we not only have crazy fun together but too much has happened during those crazy times for us not to be friends. We didn't talk for a month once but it was a misunderstanding of intentions and everything worked out. She knows some secrets that she's taking to the grave and vice versa. So to get back to my point I never established, I'm still hesistant to end a friendship. Can you be friends with someone just because they can be fun to be around? Can you say, "Let's go have fun but I don't trust you farther than I can throw you"? or "Sure, we can hang out but other than entertaining me at times you add no value to my life"? I need to work on my screenplay like whoa. #
Comments:
I like this post. It got me thinking (and putting off work late at night). I, too, have a hard time ending friendships and am sometimes left to wonder what happened. Like when I went to college, all of my friendships changed. People I was tighter than tight with in high school ended up not being college friends.
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